Mind your language
This section of the web site is called Words and as it happens "words" and
being pedantic about them is one of my interests.
This would, perhaps, be pardonable if I observed the highest standards of grammatical
etiquette but I don't; most of the time I sound like I have been to Ian Dury's masterclass
in language mangling.
Spelling, mispronunciation, malapropisms all bring out the tiresome pedant in me. Even
though I believe that as a living language English should be allowed to evolve, I can't
help wincing when I hear someone say "from whence" instead of
"whence". If I am feeling particularly bold or I know the person well I'll
generally lean over and explain that as the word whence means "from
where", when they say from whence they are saying the equivalent of from
from where, which sounds like the name of a dodgy 1960's French chanteuse.
I can't help correcting my son when he says "should of" instead of
"should have", even though the percentage of the populace who say "should
of" is now so high that it will not be long before dictionaries acknowledge the
legitimacy of "should of" as an expression.
Which reminds me; why do Americans use the curious phrasing "it was not that big
of a car" instead of the simpler "it was not that big a car"? It's not that
they are keen to add superfluous words otherwise they would say "write to me" as
the British do instead of "write me", or "he's in the back" instead of
"in back".
But I digress. (You can't start a sentence with a but!) Oh, but I can.
A while back a fellow gamer who happened to be a teacher - but only a Physics teacher
so that does not really count - picked me up on my use of the word less when I
should have said fewer. "Ah yes, but I've got less units than you."
"Fewer units, you mean," he said.
I would not have minded but not only was he a Physics teacher but a Welsh speaker to
boot!
Actually instead of being offended at having my grammar corrected I was quietly
thrilled. Here was another little imperfection I could pick other people up on.
I take comfort in the fact that I am not totally obsessed by adherence to grammatical
rules. A preposition is something with which I am happy to end a sentence ....
Fowler says (and I agree, which I am sure he'll find heartening) that people who insist
on worrying about split infinitives and sentences ending with prepositions are trying to
impose the strictures of Latin on the English language. Seeing as English is not Latin
there is no reason why it should follow the same rules.
In my day job I am a journalist so I suppose that might have
encouraged my pedantry. Before the days of spell checkers I would cheerfully spend my day
correcting spelling mistakes and typing errors. This was particularly crucial when
reporting on African affairs of state as there was a prominent statesman at the time named
Sithole whose name just invited a crude mistype.
Perhaps as a hangover from my editing days I still have a sharp eye for a typo or
misspelling. The two words I see mispelled most frequently are lose, which is often
spelt as loose, and definitely, which is often spelt as definately.
Now, if people habitually spell the word lose as loose, how do they
spell the word loose? Looose, perhaps?
As for people who spell definitely as definately, how do they spell
the word definition? As defination? That sounds like something boy
racers do with their car stereos.
I can understand years ago people being unaware that they spelled certain words
incorrectly because no fool is going to double-check every word in the dictionary, but now we have
word processors, surely the definately crowd must get tired of having this
misspelling corrected, even if the loose crowd remain blissfully unaware of their
misspelling of the word lose because loose is a genuine word that would
not be recognised as an error by the spell-check (called a literal in the trade,
I believe).
As for people who pronounce the letter H as haitch instead of aitch, this
really used to get on my tits until I learnt that these people were so certain that their
pronunciation was correct that you could win easy money off them in a bet. Even after they
handed over the money most of them insisted that the dictionary was wrong because their
teacher had taught them to pronounce the letter that way.
A high proportion of haitchers
seem to come from Ireland where perhaps haitch is the correct
pronunciation [I've since heard it said that, like so many things in
Ireland, there is a religious divide on the pronunciation of aitch.].
I find it ironic that among a group of people (Londoners in particular) where the
letter H is routinely dropped from the start of words ("I didn't 'ave an
'ope") so many people incorrectly add a redundant aitch at the start of the letter
aitch.
"Ah yes!" they argue, "of course it begins with a haitch because the
letter haitch makes a huh sound."
Well, if that is the case why don't we pronounce the letter F as
"feff" because it makes a fuh sound? What about the letters
lel, mem, nen, rar, ses, wubble-you, xex and ywhy?
Recently (long after this article was first written), the Oxford English
Dictionary has, quite literally, recognised the use of the word
"literally" to mean "figuratively".
I was literally flabbergasted when I heard about this. Figuratively, you
could have knocked me down with a feather and, given my puny physique, maybe
you have literally knocked me down with a feather as well.
Another thing that is irritating me immensely at the moment is
tautologies - the needless repetition of the same thing using different
words.
"Safe haven" is the big one I see in my day job; if a haven is
not safe, it is not a haven. "Safe harbour", on the other hand, is
acceptable because not all harbours are safe.
On my way to work I often pass a branch of the bafflingly popular
sandwich franchise Subway and one day I saw the following on a poster
outside the shop: Don't wait in line, pre-order your food over the
phone.
Translating that into English, I think that means: "Avoid the
queue by phoning in your order".
The use of "pre" as a preface seems a relatively new
phenomenon.
Phone conversations used to go like this:
Buyer: Is the new book by P.E. Dantic out yet?
Seller: No. It has not been released yet.
Buyer: May I order it then, please?
Now, instead of ordering it, we apparently have to pre-order it.
The other day someone tried to pre-notify me of something, but I
refused to accept it unless he gave me advance warning - those
retrospective warnings are so useless, don't you think? - that he was
going to pre-notify me.
On the subject of advance warnings, I see the Bank of England (BoE)
pretty quickly abandoned its policy of offering "forward
guidance" on interest rates and inflation trends; offering
"backward guidance" is a lot easier but pretty useless, so I
think simply offering "guidance" would have sufficed, but
the BoE can't even do that because interest rates are set in stone and
inflation is as predictable as a cricket score when Pakistan is
involved in a dead rubber.
If you know of any words that are commonly misspelt (or is that misspelled?),
mispronounced or used in the wrong context do let
us know. Perhaps your pet hate is nouns transitioning (sic) into verbs.
Alternatively maybe you have a foible of your own, something else that inexplicably drives
you nuts, like people who sniff instead of using a hanky, or people who don't stand on the
right hand side of the escalators on the London Underground. If so, drop us a line and we'll feature them in a future
article.
John Harrington
Scott Thompson of Montreal writes:
I came across your language page while searching for facts about the pronunciation of
the letter H. We have a couple of guys here at work who insist on using
"haitch," so I was glad to point out your thoughts on this point. We do a lot of
web commerce solutions here, so you can imagine how many times we're forced to hear
"haitch tee em ell." One of the gentlemen in question is, indeed, Irish
(although he grew up in Birmingham), and the other is an Aussie.
I thoroughly enjoyed your page, with the possible exception of your tolerance for split
infinitives, my personal pet peeve. You did catch some of the other things I love to hate,
though. "Looser" is a term I've almost come to expect when playing games
on-line.
Here are some of the more common mistakes I find (at least over here in Canada):
spelling --
You're vs Your ("Your stupid." My response: "What about my
stupid?")
It's vs Its (Come on, I learned the difference when I was six)
pronunciation --
Nuclear as NOO-kyoo-ler (Do they spell it nucular?)
Kilometre as kih-LAH-mih-ter (Do they pronounce centimetre sen-TIH-mih-ter?)
I understand some dictionaries are now accepting this alternate pronunciation of
kilometre. Personally, I find that consistent inflection helps to make the logical
separation between metre, the unit of measurement, and meter, a tool used in measurement.
KIL-o-mee-ter versus o-DAH-mih-ter.
Seeing how Americans have already ruined the distinction between the two in spelling, I
suppose pronunciation was the next to fall.
inventing words --
Disorientated (You certainly are...)
(JH replies: Is that "alternate" pronunciation or
"alternative"? "Alternative" is more common in the UK with
"alternate" thought of more as a verb. It is ironic that the word
"pronunciation" is one of the most commonly mispronounced words. Many
people seem to think it is spelt pronounciation.)
Shirley Turner of somewhere in the UK writes:
I was fascinated to read your article and as there is an invitation to add thoughts, here are mine:
In your sentence….”certain words wrong” surely that should read ….”certain words incorrectly”.
My real aversion – other than the H one (there is even an advertisement on TV which uses haitch which is a very poor show and bad influence!) – is the old chestnut I guess of prepositions. Different must be followed by ‘from’ not ‘to’ and compare ‘with’ not ‘to’ and ‘exactly similar’ is a contradiction!
(JH replies: I will try and do better in future,
Shirley!
That should be "try to do better, surely?
Yes it should - and don't call me Shirley!)
Ron Tabor is thankful his parents did not name him Ren,
and writes:
Like you, I can be a little pedantic on pronunciation.
Obviously, there is written language and there is spoken language, so I particularly like to play games with my son, by emphasising the way that text language is written, when actually trying to speak it the same way, like "ask U R
mutha".
But I digress. The reason for my email, is the mispronunciation of aitch.
This had never bothered me, as there were obviously people who were not well schooled or versed in the use of language.
However, it really bothers me that HSBC bank routinely employ people who say Haitch Es Be Ce, not only when speaking to you, but on recorded messages. "Thank you for calling Haitch Es Be Ce!" It is as though, you don't actually get employed by HSBC unless you are going to mispronounce the letter.
Is there any hope, when a large institution perpetuates an error. It will obviously get people thinking that that is the correct way to pronounce it.
Is there any way we can get them to address this issue? Presumably they do it because they try to treat all dialects as equal and considered politically correct.
(JH replies: Just refer to them as the Hong Kong and
Shanghai Bank. They will be heading back there soon anyway, I expect.)
Hazel Shandor-Hatfield of somewhere unknown to me -
possibly Hatfield - writes:
Hi. I've found your site fascinating and it's good to know that I'm not the
only boring pedant in the world. I have a few comments to make.
I have no objection to nouns becoming verbs (maybe this should be called
"verbing) in most cases, and I consider this practice to be part of the
evolution of our language.
Verbs like "to date", "to party" and "to deplane" sometimes make phrasing less wordy and clumsy. On the other hand,
listening yesterday (29.6.07) to the new Home Secretary say that she had
been "tasked" by the public grated on me somewhat.
Regarding the comment about Americans usually not being keen to add
unnecessary words, I beg to disagree. Their speech is littered with them:
"come on in", "listen up", "meet with" etc.
The dreaded haitch is driving me to distraction. With the misguided notion
that to say aitch is to be dropping one's aitches, schools are teaching the
mispronunciation in their literacy hours and, worst of all, I've been
corrected while spelling my name over the phone. I happen to have three
aitches in my name, and in high dudgeon, told the lady on the other end of
the line that I think I know how to spell my own name. I also noted that,
in a televised spelling bee a couple of years ago, the children weren't
corrected for saying haitch. I think we've lost this particular battle.
(JH: Never surrender, Hazel!)
Upward inflection at the end of phrases or sentences is annoying. There
have been times when I've wondered if I've been told a fact or asked a
question.
All in all though, I'm most dismayed by the current inability to say
anything or make any point without constant "you knows", "I means" "kindas"
and "likes." This trend has nothing to do with evolution of language, but
shows a lack of ability to think through and express ideas clearly and
succinctly. When thinking on the hoof, however, there's no disgrace in
pausing for a second to rally one's thoughts.
(JH: The upward inflection drives me crazy? It makes me want
to kill them? Imagine if we did that in print, like I am doing now?
A close friend of mine earns a few pennies completing market
research questionnaires online and goes apoplectic if he is ever asked
to rate, on a scale of one to five presumably, "how unique"
a product is.
How dead was he, exactly, officer?
There is a lovely woman I work with who has taken this a step
further, and is doing that extensive elongation of syllables that
seems to be popular among Valley Gurrrrrrrrrls in California. She
sounds like Donald Sinden or, more accurately, Spittin' Images'
impersonation of Donald Sinden.)
Julie Snell writes:
My pet hate is the mispronunciation of the letter H as in 'haitch' possibly because it is now occurring so frequently on radio and TV advertisements when promoting HD television. I have heard examples of this several times this morning on Classic FM but my misery was compounded when an announcer referred to 'Kanaw' Soup.
(JH: That must have made you want to ger-nore your own
fingers off.)
Amanda and Kevin Lee from the land of Oz weigh in:
So many people, especially TV and radio announcers nowadays say "..there's lots of people here today"..
aaaahhhh!!!!
Also, how about "athaletes" aaaahhhhh!!
Thanks for your page. Came to it in a search on "Haich" because of the way
ALL the teachers at our local primary say it!
(JH: Watching the Ashes series it was noticeable how often
the Aussie commentators used the phrase "pretty ordinary".
It appears to be a euphemism for "bad" but I presume a
recently retired cricketer can't bring himself to use that adjective
to describe a player with whom he has probably played with or against.
I find that pretty ordinary.)
Colin Baker takes time out from time travelling to write:
Dropped in to your site, and I have a couple of additions:
How about WHINGING instead of "WHINGEING"; "AGING" instead of "AGEING", or "PRONOUNCIATION" instead of "PRONUNCIATION"??!!
(JH: Aging is an American spelling, and while I understand
the reasoning behind removing what Americans regard as superfluous
letters (e.g. color, medieval), "aging" just looks wrong, as
if the letter G should be pronounced as a hard "guh" rather
than a soft "zyuh".
My spill-chucker (ho, ho) seems to accept either spelling of
whinging/whingeing.
On the subject of Americanisms, what's with this word
"ouster", meaning removal of a person from office. Surely an
ouster is the person doing the ousting, not the act itself?)
Anthony Enticknap spoils our fun by arguing that
pronouncing aitch as haitch is acceptable:
The wikipedia entry on this has some interesting things to say about
its pronunciation:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/H
Although it's wise to take any wikipedia entry with a pinch of salt, I
think it's worth noting that the pronunciation of the letter 'H' is often regional. Just as some would pronounce the word 'grass' to rhyme
with 'gas' and other would elongate the vowel so it rhymes with 'farce', it's merely a matter of personal preference. True, the letter
'H' is not present at the start of the spelling 'aitch', but language
is forever changing, so maybe it should be there.
Indeed, the spelling 'aitch' is not necessarily correctly - if
wikipedia is to be believed, this depends on what the original of the
letter is:
"The American Heritage Dictionary(r) of the English Language derives
the letter's name from French hache from Latin haca or hic, from which
it can be argued that the pronunciation aitch is a result of h-dropping. The Oxford English Dictionary says the original name of
the letter was /aha/; this became /aka/ in Latin, passed into English
via Old French /atʃ/, and by Middle English was pronounced /aːtʃ/"
(JH: Sorry, my web editor cannot cope with those characters,
so you'll just have to guess what they are.)
Regardless, it seems to make more sense to pronounce the letter as
'haitch'. How would you describe one case of this letter? As 'a 'H''?
This would be spoken as 'a aitch', which is far more difficult to
pronounce than 'a haitch'. Writing 'an 'H'' would seem to be grammatically incorrect, but the 'incorrect' pronunciation would allow
you write it correctly.
(JH: I would pronounce it as "an aitch". Did you
know the word orange was originally "norange" but after
years of referring to "a norange" it became "an
orange". Perhaps "an naitch" would lead to the letter H
being pronounced "naitch", which I would not mind so much;
it is partly because people who pronounce H as "haitch"
routinely drop their aitches on other words that I get so irked by
it.)
While I agree with most of what you say at
www.fbgames.co.uk/words/language.htm I have to disagree with you on
this. I would say that either pronunciation is acceptable.
(JH: In which case Anthony - or Anphony as some people would
not doubt call you - I will not print your reply. Oops! Too late!
Thanks for your comments.)
Jen Gibson of Ashford in Kent, gets a couple of things off
her chest:
The word "mischievous" being pronounced as "mischievIOUS". My husband
pronounces "mischievous" this way just to p--- me off. It works.
The word "percolator" being pronounced as "percUlator".
And, ironically, the word "pronunciation" being pronounced as
"pronOUNciation".
Grrrrr.....
Regarding the phenomenon of people using the word "less" when "fewer"
would be correct: The Tesco Supermarket advertising agents are guilty of
this grammatical crime. I can't for the life of me remember which ad it
is in (probably because I was so horrified I have now blocked it out of my
consciousness, as I have many other traumas) but I think there's a statement at the end consisting of only three words - " _____ less _____"
which makes the error even more obvious!
(JH: It has got to the stage in my regular gaming group now
that less and fewer must both be used incorrectly, as a matter
of course. "I lost that game because I had fewer time," or
"I do not think any fewer of you just because you came fifth in a
four player game".
Regarding "Americanisms": - How about "calvary" instead of "cavalry"?
Ugh. "Calvary" is easier to say.
(JH: I am surprised no one has mentioned "libary"
yet. "Arks" instead of "ask" is another
interesting one; I believe it has crossed over from the Afro-American
community into general parlance, innit?)
Mike Adrian asks:
How about people saying pronounciation instead of pronunciation and using the American pronunciation of "Loo" tenant instead of the British "Lef" tenant (Lieutenant) and Skedule instead of Shedule (Schedule)
(JH: Much as I love pronouncing lieutenant the English way,
no one ever takes a day off in left, do they?
As for schedule/skedule, I probably imagined this, but I thought in
British English we use the K pronunciation when it is an agenda and
the SH one when it is a timetable. I'm probably full of skit on this
one, though.)
And what about Pew instead of Per in Peugeot?
(JH: Yes, indeed. I believe the Americans pronounce the
brand Pew-got. If there are any Americans reading this, try
pronouncing it Purr-zho if you want to sound a tad European.
The sports shoe company set up by Adi Das is routinely pronounced
by septics (Cockney rhyming slang - look it up) as if it had been set
up by someone called Adee Das.
On one of the rare occasions I watched an episode of
"Friends", the Ross character was talking about having spent
some time in Ib-itzer; it took me ages to realise he meant Ibiza (ib-eef-ah).
Which reminds me: is Ibiza in the Bally-arric islands or the
B'leer-ic?)
And what about Pew instead of Per in Peugeot?
Edward - presumably not HRH - writes:
One thing that really annoys me is the word "gamer." As a computer game player myself, I feel ashamed to be called that - basically, because I see it as an American abuse of language created for marketing purposes. "Game" is a noun; the verb "game" means "gamble," as far as I know. Yes, I may be a gambler, but when it comes to computer games I am a "player."
I don't know, really - I just read "big of a" one too many times and started looking all over the internet, trying to prove that it was incorrect. Wikipedia, of course, has no articles that I could find, about it, and every other article on there seems to use the same grammar as that anyway!
(JH: I never really thought about the gamer thing until now.
In my day job I often have to write about "online gaming
companies" when my natural inclination is to call them
"online gambling companies".)
Rob Clay - that's a name, not a pastime - sends this
missive from Northampton:
Well done on picking up on some of the ways in which the English language has been 'dumbed down'.
One of my pet hates is the way that the letter 'T' is practically missed out of the middle of words, or at least is almost imperceptible. I notice it more in 'Yoof Culture', when kids today can be heard to say something like,
"You gettin' a tah-oo? I fort I might get a car-oon, like Bugs Bunny or
sumfin'".
Tattoo and cartoon are just two that spring to mind. I'm sure you can think of others. :-)
(JH: I am on shaky ground here, Rob. My parents and my
brother and sister are all Cockneys, and I am from your actual Essex
estuary area, so I am afraid the glottal stop is part of my 'eritage.
I've toned it down over the years but there was a time when not
only would I have pronounced "cartoon" as "car-oon"
but also "something" as "sunnink".)
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